There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
