Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Mom said you looked used
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Never underestimate the power of titties
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
