What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize