If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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