Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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