I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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