I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Your dad touched me again.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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