Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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