Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
