If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
