either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
