I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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