am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
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I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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