I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
