I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize