Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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