Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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