a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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