So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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