I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
