grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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