I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
