I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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