her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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