Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
cat food counts as protein by the way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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