just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
