Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
