i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize