I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
