The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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