Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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