Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
