i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
