2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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Is this like a preordered booty call?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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