oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
