Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do vagina's smell?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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