everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
