So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
