the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
