your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
