she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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