I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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