I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
