I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
