From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
