He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize