girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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