And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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