I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
