I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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