just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
