Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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