I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
