We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize