I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
