I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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