Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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