I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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