New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
