I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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