He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
