why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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