....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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