Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
