BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
