I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
