i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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