i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
