dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
