...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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