I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize