If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
